In Genesis we read of a talking snake. Now we have to deal with a talking ass. This is really starting to get out of hand!
So, here is the story of the talking ass; an Israelite sheppard named Balaam has a donkey. The story doesn’t say how long Balaam’s had said donkey but it would be safe to assume that he’s had him/her for a while. The donkey see’s an angel on a path that Balaam is not able to see. The donkey moves out of the way of the angel and accidentally crushes Balaam’s foot against a rock wall. Honest mistake right? Well this angers Balaam and he proceeds to beat the hell out of the innocent donkey.
It would appear that Balaam has a few anger issues. Well the donkey has had enough of the abuse. He looks at Balaam and says ” What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” (Numbers 22:28 NIV) Now Balaam begins a conversation with his ass. Picture this if you will…Balaam is now standing directly in front of his ass with his best ‘put em up’ pose looking it eye to eye and having conversation as with a person. If this is not bad enough, Balaam, talking to an donkey remind you, says “you have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now!“(Numbers 22:29 NIV)
I know I am not the brightest bulb in the box, but I’m pretty damned bright and I’m bright enough to know that donkey’s cannot talk. But lets pause for a moment. Why isn’t Balaam completely freaked out? I can’t speak for all people but if my dog said “whats up” I am out of there!
Now the donkey says “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you? No, he said.” (Numbers 22:30 NIV) So now the donkey is slapping Balaam with a guilt trip. Really? I am completely dumbfounded by the number of Christians all over the world who see this as truth. When I questioned a close Christian friend about this story he said ” Of course I know it’s true. It proves there is nothing my God can’t do.” Except set the example on how to treat your animals of course. If you are not cutting their throats as a sacrifice or you can always beat the hell out of them. No big deal.
So folks, next time you are watching Mr Ed remember that everything you are seeing is one hundred percent true and based on Biblical teachings.