Tag Archives: Noah

The Real Reason Why Ken Ham’s Ark Encounter is Failing


Sylia Gray

I want to explain to Ken Ham my opinion of why I think his Noah’s Ark park is failing. I don’t expect Ham to read this but I’m going to jot it all down here as a blog post anyway.


The BIG reason why I think his “Ark Encounter” theme park is failing is not because of the atheists, believe me! I think it’s the market forces that are working against him. I don’t think he understands his target audience well enough. I understand that the park is for Christians, but I think his biggest agenda is to reach out non-Christians too (winning souls for JEEESUSSSS!).


Now here’s the thing, the majority of Americans are Christians. But I think the ones who buy into Ken Ham’s snake oil are just the fundamentalist types and their numbers have shrunk, and continue to shrink, though they remain a vocal minority. I think the rest of the Christian population (the majority) are just “cultural Christians” – generally secular-minded people who only attend church casually and don’t take their faith seriously but identify as Christian simply because that’s the culture they grew up in. Now, why would those cultural Christians be interested in hearing the Christian message at some Bible-based theme park? I think many of those cultural Christians find sermons to be boring but just go to church anyway as an excuse to get off work and have fellowship with people in their community. And there is no doubt that there are some cultural Christians out there who don’t find sermons to be boring at all but find comfort and solace because a lot of people need someplace to escape from their troubles. But why would they need spend hundreds of hard-earned dollars just to go to some Bible theme park in the middle of nowhere for all of that? The reason why people go to theme parks is to be entertained and have fun with friends and family, not to be preached to. If they want to hear a sermon or engage in whatever religious activity, they don’t need to spend hundreds of dollars to go to some Bible based theme park, they can just go to church on Sundays for free. Churches are not that hard to find in America! Why would they need to go some half-baked Bible theme park that looks like big old boat landlocked in the middle of nowhere that is supposed to be full of (not even live) animals with the only live animals being in petting zoos? Even my local zoo is far more impressive than that!


Also, millennials… More and more young people are losing interest in religion for variety of reasons and I think one of the main reasons (as a millennial myself) is because it’s hard to find any meaning that is relevant to us today in 2017 from some bronze age holy books. How could we be blamed for that? And many of us have smartphones so we have a whole world of information – the entire Internet – literally in our pockets so we can verify information coming from holy books and religious authorities (and many of those authorities – including Ken Ham – have a piss poor track record on relaying accurate information).
So in conclusion… the reason why I think Ken Ham’s Ark Encounter theme park is failing miserably is not because atheists are giving it a bad rap, even though it’s well deserved because Ken Ham is a liar and a fraud. I think it’s because most people are seeing through his bullshit. They are not stupid to buy Ham’s snake oil. The park is just a money making scheme for Ham and a rip-off to visitors. And if I remember correctly, even in the Bible itself (John 2:13-16), Jesus condemned corrupt religious people for using religion as a profit making scheme. So isn’t it ironic how Ham’s own holy book is admonishing readers to avoid people like himself? He’s using his Christian faith as an excuse to create a theme park that is a money making scheme, and he lied to the taxpayers who unwittingly funded the construction of this park (which is illegal for the state government to allow – not the taxpayers’ fault). And he made a broken promise to the people of the towns nearby by failing to bring economic prosperity to them through tourism as he promised. It never was going to happen and probably never will. Because when demographic trends show that religion is declining, religious theme parks may lose their market appeal so they won’t be marketable. Atheists don’t need to give the Ark Encounter a bad rap to make it fail. I think the free market is taking care of that for them on its own.


The Flood: The Mass Murder of Millions

Imagine if you will a 600 year old man standing in the middle of a desert. The temperatures are reaching well above one hundred degrees. He is hot, tired and probably pretty damned thirsty. Then all of a sudden a loud voice rains down from the heavens, “Noah! I want you to build me a big ass boat.”

Now that I have your attention, in my last post (The Story of Lot) I asked the question “can this get anymore insane?” In fact, it does, hence the flood. So, like the last time, strap in because we are about to get this insanity on the road.

And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart (Genesis 6: 5-6). The honeymoon is over, God is no longer satisfied with the creation that he claimed was very good. He is now ‘grieved’ at his heart. I didn’t know spirits had a heart but I can play along.  Apparently there was too much sex and drinking going on and God was not happy! We all know the last thing God wants is for us to have fun. He expects us to spiritually castrate ourselves and be wholly subservient. Call me crazy but I think he has a very long wait.

Anyway, God isn’t happy, so what great idea did he come up with to bring himself happiness? You guessed it! Kill em all! Apparently God is in need of a mulligan; he want’s a do-over but what about all those pesky humans he created? That’s easy…drown them all and the animals too. Wait? What? The animals? What did they do? Were the cows roaming the streets shagging all the horses? Did those blood thirsty koala bears cause a ruckus?

This is mass murder on a grand scale folks. However, being a rational thinking person, I have a few questions. Did God in his all-knowing-ness not see this coming? Do you think God had the ability to stop all the evilness in the world without drowning all the innocent children, infants and animals? If so, why would an all loving God choose death by drowning? Can you imagine the feeling of gasping for air and choking just before passing out? Can you imagine the panic that must set in when you realize that there is no hope, you are going to drown to death? Imagine all the innocent babies that experienced that exact thing. How can you bring yourself to call your God a God of love? Is it love when a mother drowns her children in a bathtub? If she said God told her to do it, should she get away with the murder?  Is that any different from what God did on a much larger scale? But yet you call him Love. You ought to be ashamed of yourself and you have the audacity to call me a hypocrite.

Continuing on…

Am I the only one that has realized that God hadn’t prescribed any rules or commandments at this stage? Why would God punish them for breaking rules when there are no rules to follow? Seems rather hypocritical to me; give no rules, no laws, no guidance, then murder them all for not having the ability to read his mind. But Hey! God is love, God is love.

Let’s delve a little deeper into the actual story. Noah, a man of great youth being only six hundred years old is told by God (yes, God apparently spoke in audible tones) that he planned to flood the Earth to rid it off all those evil people who had a poor example by their God on how to act. But Noah and his family was to be spared because of his righteousness. All he had to do was build a 450 ft boat for God to house two of every animal including his family. Now, let me pause right here to ask a question. Why is it that God, who spoke everything into existence, cannot build a boat? All he would have to do is say “let there be a big ass boat” and poof  a boat would appear. But I guess it is best to have a man who is over half of a millennium in age to do it. Hey, makes sense to me…NOT!

So now poor Noah is stuck building a boat in the desert. I wonder if God provided all the supplies needed? Of course not, he couldn’t even build a damn boat.

We advance in years and now the boat is complete and the people are mocking Noah because now there’s a boat in the middle of the desert in Palestine. Noah is dog tired from spending many years roaming the desert trying to find trees to use as logs, not to mention making nails and all else that is required to build a huge boat but apparently there is no rest for weary when you are working for God because now he is tasked to collect two of every species for the ark. I wonder if God supplied him a list of all the animals? I remember my Sunday school teacher telling me that God led all the animals to him. Hmm…did God give the Kangaroo’s and koala bears temporary wings to enable them fly to Palestine? How about the poor penguins and polar bears, I bet they were hot as hell. After all, there is only a two hundred degree difference between Antarctica and Palestine.

As you can see this is getting more and more insane with each line. So, lets discuss a few more points and then we will put this insanity to rest.

Food: How did Noah keep the meat needed to feed the carnivores from spoiling? Did they have large refrigerators/freezers on the ark? Surely in that heat the meat would quickly spoil.

Cleaning: Who had the ‘crappy’ job of cleaning up all the excrement left by the animals? I can only imagine how big elephant dung would be, not to mention the horrible smell inside the ark. Maybe they opened the ONLY window on the ark to let some fresh air in. Why would a 450 foot boat only have one small window? Clearly God was not much of an architect.

Behavior: How did they maintain proper behavior of all the animals? After all, wild lions, tigers and bears (oh my!) eat people. It is in their nature to do so. How did they manage to keep all of their digits and limbs?

The flood: God said it will rain for forty day and forty nights. Experts have said that in order for the water to cover Mt. Everest to a depth of twenty-two feet as the Bible states, it would have to rain six inches per second, three hundred sixty inches per minute, and we think it rains hard in the south!

The water recedes:  Why the need to send a dove when Noah and God are on speaking terms?

The ark comes to rest on Mt. Ararat: Really? Of all places God chooses a mountain for the boat to come to rest upon? Assuming this is true, there are millions of dead bodies laying all over the place. What did they do with all the bodies? What did they eat? The flood would have killed all the vegetation. What about the fish? The overwhelmingly amount of fresh water would have completely diluted the salt water. So all the salt water fish would’ve died. Don’t you find it ironic that you can still order salt water fish off the menu?

I know, I know, I know! I am not supposed to think about all this stuff. I’m supposed to accept the blatant lies on faith. I’m to remain dumb and walk around with my God-glasses on and stay focused on God. Well stupidity never suited me well and I threw away my God-glasses years ago, so deal with it!

I will stop here for today. I have provided enough food for thought in this post. More insanity will ensue in the very near future. I look forward to seeing you then. Thanks for reading and please leave any comments you may have.

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